You might as well face it you're a dick with a glove.

Today I learned the lyrics to 'Love is a Stranger' by the Eurythmics don't include 'something something session.'  I have always, always assumed Annie Lennox just didn't know the words to her own song. Is that actually so strange?  Weird shit happens all the time, plus she scares the fuck out of me.  I basically categorize her with Grace Jones: super talented women who terrify me because I have some ridiculous childhood association with them that makes me fear them.  Grace is easy (she was a fucking scary assed James Bond villain) but Annie? I don't know!




New to my mondegreen repetoire (can I call it that? Is that a Thing?) is Queen's 'Lemon Bar.'  I'd never heard it until a few weeks ago.



Even though I know the lyrics are 'are you ready for the hammer to fall?' it never sounds like that.  Never.  I think lemon bars are gross so it made even less sense than it would if I liked them.

Full disclosure: I actually can't stand Queen.  I want to like them (Brian May's anti-dachshundist views aside) but I just ... don't. Yes, I know Freddie Mercury could sing with the best of them but I think Queen suck.  I also think this about The Carpenters (Karen with the Voice, etc).  See how I capitalized it?  I know it's actually that good.

Big Daddy makes fun of the mondegreens sometimes. Today when Mr. Mister's 'Broken Wings' came on the radio he tried to pretend he'd misheard the lyrics.  Jackass.

Until I learned that something called 'Vegemite' existed I thought the lyrics to Men At Work's 'Down Under' were 'he just smiled and gave me a piece of his sandwich.'  Makes sense, if you think about it from the point of view of someone who's never heard of yeast spread. COME ON.

Anyway, this talk of mondegreens is unrelated to my boy SPM but it did lead me to one of the funniest YouTube comments of all time. To wit: