To die by your bulbous salutation is such a heavenly way to die

Today I've been listening to 'There is a Light That Never Goes Out' on repeat and a little bit of Kanye West and I can't figure out how a dude that wrote this song could possibly think 'bulbous salutation' was a good euphemism for penis. 

Come on, dude.

So Our Moz wrote a novel

I'VE GOT YOUR BULBOUS SALUTATION RIGHT HERE!


All I can think is that Morrissey is so bad at sex.  Ew.

I feel like I ought to read it but, quite frankly, I don't have that kind of time.


Here are my favorite tweets about it.

I went to the Penguin website, and the only blurb for Morrissey's novel is by...Morrissey. pic.twitter.com/XyjQk19yVI

— Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) September 23, 2015

and one from my girl, Hillbilly Rachel.

Dear Me at 15: In the 21st c., the most effective form of birth control will be to read a sex scene written by Morrissey. #BulbousSalutation

— Rachel E. Pollock (@labricoleuse) September 28, 2015

I wish I knew how to quit you!

Actually, quitting Morrissey isn't really that difficult because I've not written a word since June.  Things have been pretty awful Chez Shut Up Morrissey so I've lost my oomph, as it were.

As Aerosmith said, 'I guess my get up and go must have got up and went.'

So in lieu of any real content a comic that, while not as funny as This Charming Charlie, still made me chuckle.  This comic imagines what life would be like if Morrissey had an office job.

My God, can you imagine SPM in a real fucking job?  Good Christ.  I'll be laughing about this all day!

The world never stops turning, Badger.

I never thought I'd blog about David Icke again.  Will wonders never cease?

Today I learned he's harnessed the power of social media to reach the masses. Bless! He's slotted right into the space made by anti-vaccine and Big Pharma paranoia.

I wonder if people know about his lizard people hypothesis.

I've always loved Henry Rollins

"In my opinion Morrissey just embodies every horrible trait that a human can possibly possess."

Nicknames, innit?

I've been trying to figure out appropriate nicknames for Liz and Tim for this blog.  Liz's still eludes me but I think I'm going to go with T-Ban for Tim.   I'd like it better if I could make it work with Tae Bo but you have to work with what you've got.


Here is a video which has delighted me.

Tattoo ideas

I've always been fascinated by tattoos.  When I was about eleven I was really into hair metal and Axl Rose and Rikki Rockett all had several tattoos.  None of them really held a candle to Nikki Sixx, though, who had a whole sleeve and it even extended onto his chest!

I got my first tattoo when I was eighteen and then my second not long after.  I waited for years before getting my next one and then I had another a few years later.  I've always been a bit hesitant about tattoos because I was afraid of regretting it.

One day I saw a woman in Starbucks.  She had loads of tattoos all over her arms and she was probably in her late thirties.  I didn't like her tattoos, mind, but I loved the look.  That's when I decided I couldn't give less of a shit about regretting it.  When did I think I would get these awesomely tattooed arms I wanted so badly?

So in the last year I've had a fucking shit ton of tattoo work done and it's all fabulous.  This has also led me to just get tattoos whenever I feel like it after not that much thought.  That's why I have a tattoo of me and my dog under a banner that reads 'TRUE LOVE FOR EVER.'

While visiting Brazilian Rachel in Hawai'i in 2011 I saw loads of haole with tattoos of the island chain and I thought, 'I want one!'  I didn't think that much of it, to be honest, but then in the past month or so the idea has really taken hold of me and I finally decided that I had to just go for it.  Except by now I want an hula dancer pin up (but Polynesian, for some reason all the pictures I've found are of white women) to accompany my Hawaiian Island piece.

All this leads me to this morning.  I didn't sleep much last night and when I finally dropped off I had a terrible nightmare which is just a load of bullshit.  I'm a little bit worse for wear today and so tired I feel both nauseated and starving.  I can already tell by 7pm I'm going to be so tired I won't be able to sleep at all.

I decided to accompany this Hawaii tattoo I want a tattoo of California on the other side.  I was a bit stuck about what I wanted, though, until I decided that I should get a tattoo of a burrito.

What the fuck, brain?

If this is still a good idea next week I'm going to go for it.  You have to, don't you?

Additional cast member

Brazilian Rachel: she is my very best friend in the whole world.  We met in college and I miss her every day.  She is not Brazilian.